H.

"Opening an article with a quote is kind of like a Quick Attack. - BrotherH'"



BrotherH, also referred to as “H” by himself, and “pumpkin” by his mother, is an enigmatic amalgamation of the most ridiculous possibly expressible thoughts and opinions. While the actual existence of an H is open to skepticism due to His far-fetched nature and lack of willingness to show his face, people have widely accepted the Truth of the H because they read about it in a book.

The first documentation of a H was his joining of the site Dreamtheaterforums.org. H quickly attracted the public eye due to his antics, notably making ridiculously weak analogies between the existence of God and Pokemon. While H’s comparisons had an immediate shock effect, much like a Quick Attack, the absurdity of their content rendered them very ineffective. He probably should have gone with the Rock Slide.

Other controversial statements credited to H would include the notion that every person in the world essentially has the same brain, “Orion” by Metallica is full of boringly harsh vocals, and all nonfiction that attempts to address social or political issues is stupid. Surprisingly, the H has made it into his 20s with his head full of shit like this, and shows no signs of regress. An H’s personality is characterized by a serious lack of self-confidence, displaying a mechanism of quantifying his reactions with other humans that underscores the fear he has of everyday interactions. Despite his lack of confidence in his own self, H somehow manages to be extremely critical of others’ appearances, notably in his diagnosis of females. Essentially, if you are a woman with anything less than a perfectly slender complexion, you are a disgusting fat bitch and an abomination in the eyes of H as well as those of God.